250 Westfalia Herne Fans Can't Be Wrong
SC Westfalia 04 Herne 0-4 SV Rödinghausen
Oberliga Westfalen
Thursday 3rd October 2013
Stadion Am Schloss Struenkede
Attendance: 280
Of course, no one likes
to see a team fall on hard times.
AiT does.
Umm, imagine that in black and white.
Westfalia Herne were
founded in 1904, after a meeting in a castle (all the best meetings
take place in a castle) and built their home ground in 1910, next to
a castle (all the best grounds are next to castles). In 1959 they won
the Oberliga West, beating teams that went on to amount to very
little, like 1.FC Köln, Schalke and Borussia Dortmund and regularly
played in front of 20,000 – 25,000 spectators.
Today they play in front
of 300 spectators, against teams such as SC Roland Beckum, Hammer
SpVg and today’s noisy upstarts SV Rödinghausen. The stadium is
still next to a castle. The stadium is flipping brilliant.
Not expecting much business today.
Who knows what untold glamour exisits inside this prefab.
There’s huge trees all
around and it’s partly surrounded by a moat. A moat! All the best
grounds are surrounded by a moat. No drawbridge though, shame.
Disused turnstiles have rusted, the steps to the main stand are
covered in grass, the wooden seats are faded and dusty, the once
packed terraces now covered by a blanket of leaves, a mother and
daughter sell home made coffee and cakes, an old couple sell
bratwurst and beers from a wooden hut called “Grandma and Grandad’s
Little Room”. Bill Haley’s “Rock Around The Clock” plays over
the PA. It’s that good here.
Of course, every one
loves a story of a lower league club hurtling up through the leagues.
AiT doesn’t.
SV Rödinghausen have
bumbled around the nowhere lands of the 8th and 9th levels before
Hoffenheiming through the leagues recently when a company who made
kitchens decided to pump money into the club. Ah, the classic
business model of kitchen manufacture whacks loads of money into
tinpot club. Chuck as much money as you like in chaps but a castle
beats a kitchen every time. EVERY TIME.
Rödinghausen are now top
of this league, level 5 for those of you taking notes, and they’ve
got fans. Fans that call themselves the SVR Amigos. Fans in matching
shirts, hats and with a megaphone that plays the sound of a police
siren over and over and over. Chuck it in the moat on your way out
hey, Amigo.
Herne are near the bottom
of the league, have few fans and no manager. Well, they do have a
manager, his names Hans Bruch, and, as the game takes place, he is on
holiday in Sardinia. Nice timing Hans, maybe think on next time you
pop into Der Thomas Cöök ja?! For this game the wonderfully named
assistant manager Pietro Perrone took some time off from eating
meatballs lika Mumma used to make-a and asking people “wassa matta
you, ey?” to take charge.
I’m sure he wishes he
hadn’t bothered. Two nil down after 15 minutes. The Amigos love it.
A drum gets timidly stroked in celebration (play it properly, or
don’t play it all) and one Amigo (*sighs*) announces the goal
scorer and the scoreline to the others in the call and response way
that sounds brilliant in packed German stadiums but sounds ridiculous
when shouted by five people on a sparsely populated terrace.
Half time. Standard AiT procedure,
Toilet/Beer/Sausage.
Beer:
Beer of choice here at
Westfalia Herne, DAB beer. A beer that previously existed only
intermittently, looking all alluring and exotic, like Oranjeboom, in
newsagents, whose magazines racks were ¾ full of jazz mags, and
where the food aisle consisted solely of out of date custard creams
now here in glorious barrel format. DABle thumbs up.
Sausage:
Huge sausage at cheap prices. Double
thumbs up. It gets better. Half way through eating it I was joined by
a dog. A dog that made it perfectly clear he wasn’t leaving until
one of us had eaten the rest of that sausage, and that wasn’t gonna
be me.
#sausagedog
What a horrid creature! Those
longing dark eyes staring at me, his dribbling mouth, his slack jaw,
his unkempt matted hair and the horrendously bad odour, thought the
dog as I furiously chomped into my delicious sausage callously not
offering him a bite.
"Please may I have some more sir?"
Alright, I did chuck him a third of a
sausage. Then he left, on to the next person then the next person,
then the next. As the ref blow the whistle to restart the match the
dog casually walked out of the stadium, his stomach full and with a
quick glance over his shoulder (do dogs have shoulders?) at when the
next home fixture takes place. Double paws up.
Toilet:
Obviously I do everything I can to
avoid using a cubicle (reverse parking the brown Volvo/dropping the
kids off at the pool) when in a football ground. Doesn’t seem
right. Definitely doesn’t seem right at Westfalia Herne, look:
The double toilet. Why shit in peace
when you can take a mate in with you and discuss the managers holiday
plans, tactics (whether to squeeze) and whether to use three squares
of paper or four? Definitely no thumbs up. Weird.
Now, three other clothing based reasons
why this place is brilliant:
I got to try on a Kutte jacket. A life
ambition fulfilled. A bargain at 100 Euro. I've never been happier.
Dog in Westfalia Herne scarf!
Beautiful. Also, a dog that'll let you eat a sausage in peace.
Goalkeeper in hat!
This place is genuinely, according to my defintion anyway,
brilliant. Keep your Köln, Borussia Dortmund, Schalke. Westfalia
Herne, I love you just the way you are. Don't ever change.
