Whilst in Brussels last week I had time to kill and flicked through the Sport section of a Dutch language newspaper and drifted off into a beautiful dream.
In this dream I was a Belgian version of Football Italia era James Richardson and sat outside one of the many cafes in the magnificent Grand Place in Brussels. In front of me a decadently topped Belgian waffle, some of the freshest Moules Frites known to Poirot, a large frosty Kwak and a stack of Belgian newspapers. I flick masterfully between Dutch and French and translate numerous headlines about the transfer rumours surrounding around Michel Preud'Homme, the fitness battles of Enzo Scifo and a bizarre incident involving Jan Ceulemans, a toboggan and a mule for the enthralled audience watching at home, before hilariously introducing a feature on Philippe Albert's passion for thimbles. Sadly, like the list of famous Belgians, the dream ended suddenly.
But no, maybe not, the dream isn't over and I can read Dutch and that's why I can confidently translate this article as 'All Africans believe Blatter is a massive ballsack'.